~To cheer my grumpy friends~

All of my happy people are being emo, with good reason, I shall add.
I've noticed that you all derive great pleasure from laughing at my foolish moments, so I'll just go on and tell ya in hopes of bringing back a few smiles, for a moment, at least.
I went to the grocery store to night, and trying to be all bonnie-n-clyde, I didn't grab a basket, knowing I always get more than I go in for.
I made my way through the Mad Butcher, gathering cinnamon rolls, smoked sausage, mustard and buns. Before I left, I hurried over to the chip aisle and grabbed some pretzels and headed towards the checkout.
I was wearing my ugly yellow dirt track crocks that I've promised myself never to wear again because they are hideous. But I wear them anyways. That was a mistake.
I busted my @$$ right there in between the Doritos and Dr. Peppers. They had been mopping the floors and I had already felt the slippiness (is that a word?) underneath my awful bus-yellow shoes, but I guess I had a brain fart and forgot to be careful.
I looked like an ice skater doing a grand finale....sliding across the floor on one knee, all the way down to the Mountain Dews. I was extremely impressed with myself, though. I didn't drop one thing. Heck, I didn't even smush the cinnamon bun icing.